oh...
how do i find the will to go on? i dont know how much more i can take of this.
i go to work only to fall in to an argument i niether started or wanted to be apart of. but she drags me in to it. why at 21 am i having to put up with petty school playground bullying?
yes i know she is trying to get me out so she can bring her mates in BUT she has picked a fight with the wrong person! im a stubbourn person and no matter how much she pisses me off i wont leave just to make her happy! maybe if my stupid boss could get off his arse and do something about it! just because she's got her head so far up the head's arse the lump in throat is her nose is a pathetic excuse!
not only that but my dad is going in to hospital soon to have a heart operation and there is no garenty he will come alive! so im so im very stressed about that! i really dont know what to do any more!
x
Tuesday 28 September 2010
Thursday 2 September 2010
a rant and a cry for help.
ok so i just dont know what to do with my self at the moment...this has gone to far...
it all started at amanda's house when we kissed and a little bit more...and well thats when it started. we had been texting each other for some weeks before and i then we starte talking more, he would ring me at times and we would text all the time. at the next show we went to it was wierd i guess cause it was the first time we had seen each other since we... well you know...and well we got on allright but he only really showed me any real affection when it was dark and noone else was around really. but i dealt with it. we carried on texting and calling each other when it came to detling. yes it was wierd again at first but by the end of the first night we were on fire. every one had the same thought, that we were or almost a couple. when people asked me i said i dont know and they should ask him...however he would simply avoid the question. so it seemed fine like we were on track he was always with me and dragging me around the place but then it came to saying goodbye and he just kinda waved to me. i did get a phone call that eveing when he got home and then we texted for a bit before going to bed....but alas ever since i have heard nothing...not a dicky bird...he wont reply to my text messages and now i have just called him and nothing he didint even answer it.
i dont know what to do with myself any more...i know i let myself get to attatched to quickly and i know i will probably get my heart broken again bt i just want to know either way. i want him to talk to me and tell me what he wants...if its not me then ill move on with my life but i just want him to talk to me...i just want to cry cause i it hurts...it really hurts to be ignored.
oh well i guess its just the story of my life isnt it. i fall the poeple who cant commite to me and i end being hurt whilst they move on with their life without a care. ill always be alone i guess.
and people wonder why i find it hard to trust people.
if anyone knows what i can do to sort this out please help! x
it all started at amanda's house when we kissed and a little bit more...and well thats when it started. we had been texting each other for some weeks before and i then we starte talking more, he would ring me at times and we would text all the time. at the next show we went to it was wierd i guess cause it was the first time we had seen each other since we... well you know...and well we got on allright but he only really showed me any real affection when it was dark and noone else was around really. but i dealt with it. we carried on texting and calling each other when it came to detling. yes it was wierd again at first but by the end of the first night we were on fire. every one had the same thought, that we were or almost a couple. when people asked me i said i dont know and they should ask him...however he would simply avoid the question. so it seemed fine like we were on track he was always with me and dragging me around the place but then it came to saying goodbye and he just kinda waved to me. i did get a phone call that eveing when he got home and then we texted for a bit before going to bed....but alas ever since i have heard nothing...not a dicky bird...he wont reply to my text messages and now i have just called him and nothing he didint even answer it.
i dont know what to do with myself any more...i know i let myself get to attatched to quickly and i know i will probably get my heart broken again bt i just want to know either way. i want him to talk to me and tell me what he wants...if its not me then ill move on with my life but i just want him to talk to me...i just want to cry cause i it hurts...it really hurts to be ignored.
oh well i guess its just the story of my life isnt it. i fall the poeple who cant commite to me and i end being hurt whilst they move on with their life without a care. ill always be alone i guess.
and people wonder why i find it hard to trust people.
if anyone knows what i can do to sort this out please help! x
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